If I were a soldier in Lieutenant Jimmy Cross’s unit, I would mainly carry fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of losing my or a friend’s life, fear of a surprise attack, fear of losing my family back home. It would consume every thought and action I would carry out. The weight of this unrelenting fear I would carry would weigh down every move I make. I would double-check every footstep or doubt which direction I am walking.
I would also carry the consumed thoughts of the loved ones I left back in America, similar to Lieutenant Jimmy Cross. Is my significant other staying loyal to me, is he being truthful in his letters when he is describing how much he loves and misses me? Will he wait for me to come home or lose hope and find another? How will our relationship be when I return home? Will I act the same around him after all of these horrors I have seen from the war? If I had children I would wonder how well they would be surviving without a nurturing mother figure in their childhood. Will they remember what I look like? Will they ever forgive me for leaving them at such a critical age? All of these unanswered questions I would carry would cause me to hold my gaze at the ground. All of this uncertainty would not let me see clearly and function properly. I would not be able to make quick decisions that are key in battle.
After returning home from the war(hopefully) I would constantly carry images of war in my head. They would follow me everywhere I go. They will affect past and future relationships. They will affect my perspective on life.
Very thoughtful posting! I enjoyed reading it.
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